2017 was not my year, though I definitely did learn a lot!
Here’s the cliff notes version..
I moved to Colorado.
I got/worked 5 new jobs, 3 of which are independent.
I traveled to 8 different states in the US.
I got to return to beautiful British Columbia and went to Mexico twice.
I got engaged to an incredible human being.
I made amazing new friends.
I lost touch with one of my very best friends.
I experienced a total solar eclipse…even if a cloud blocked it out.
Aside from all these seemingly wonderful bullet points, 2017 was a challenge.
You already know that mountain life is not for me, but I can at least begin to appreciate why people stay in this tiny town. There’s a strange sense of community because you’re all in the same sinking ship together. I’ve made friends that acted as family (especially around the holidays), I’ve enjoyed the sunrises and sunsets that I can see from inside our condo (because it’s still too cold for me to get out), and I’ve enjoyed being a “local” somewhere. (P.S. I also learned that skiing is most likely never going to be my thing).
Adjusting to the altitude continues to pose a problem on the daily. I can’t figure out if my body is just boycotting being here by acting out irrationally OR if it’s the continued stress of barely living within our means. I’ve often found myself feeling “stuck” this year. Being in a place that I’m not fond of, draining our savings to support a lifestyle that involves us staying here, and working crazy hours just to find a sense of “security” has all taken it’s toll. It’s easy to see how people can go to a mountain town and never leave. You can’t really save up money when you live in a place like this to get out!
Before this post becomes something it’s not intended to be, let’s get back on track. Through out all the stress my body and mind have felt since making the move to Colorado, one thing is undeniable.
I’m still here.
In a couple days it will mark exactly one year since moving here! I can honestly say that through all the whining and crying, I am proud of myself for making it this far. 2017 definitely taught me perseverance!!
In 2017, I also found myself more and more frustrated with my lack of time to get things done. I thought by leaving my career job (now two years ago) that I would have time to do the things I really want to do, like blog. But as you can see, it’s been over 2 months since my last post. It’s not that I haven’t thought about it (because I’ve beat myself up every day for not doing it) but I have had so many other things clouding my brain and taking up my time that it’s had to take the back burner.
In August, I flew across the country to be with my dad to see the total solar eclipse in Nashville (my hometown). My dad has been waiting since 5th grade to see it cross Nashville, so I wanted to be with him for this natural phenomenon. Excitement began to build as we walked down to sit in the grass near the creek by our house. As time crept closer to the big moment, a HUGE cloud came out of nowhere and covered the sun. You could see it was the only one in the sky and that it would soon be gone, but during the entire 1 minute and 32 seconds of total eclipse, the cloud stayed in place. It was very disappointing. I only invested a couple years into seeing this, but my dad had been waiting well over 45! I was so sad for him. The rest of the day was clear, which made it hurt that much more.
I feel like 2017 was very much like my eclipse experience. You plan and prepare to do these big things, but anything can happen to change it all in an instant. Whether your ready for it or not, life goes on. After the sun was finished eclipsing, the rest of the day played out as if nothing even happened. People returned to their jobs, we went back to Colorado, life continued as normal. Much like all the overwhelming anxiety I often feel with trying to get things done, time also goes on. It doesn’t wait for you to catch up, it just keeps moving forward.
I want that to be my takeaway from 2017. To keep moving forward. Keep living life. Keep doing the best I can do, because really, that’s all I CAN do!
With all that being said, I am very much looking forward to 2018! I’m trying not to get my hopes up or pressure 2018 into being a better year, but as the clock struck midnight and I was already in bed, I smiled to myself knowing that 2018 was going to be MY year.
New beginnings. A fresh start. It’s a new year! I can leave all the negative feelings/frustrations/energy behind and do what nature does…move forward.
I am happily leaving 2017 where it belongs…in 2017. Onto bigger and better things!!